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Crossing
I’m on a bridge. It spans the Here and the There. The Where I have been and the Where I am going. The There, in my mind, soul and heart, has a look and feel that is palpable. Yet I am also open to manifestations of the entire laundry list of supplications-to-the-Universe that apparently I have been compiling — for years and maybe since even before that — that I can’t yet get a feel for. And that’s okay. The bridge is here and I am on it. Crossing over, slowly sometimes, perhaps even too slowly at times for my Impatient Self Who Feels the Future, but crossing. One breath,…
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Perfect Magic
There is a boundary between the worlds. I know, because I have been there. Crossed it. Danced at its edge. Sang it songs. Breathed in the fire. Approaching magic can be a little like approaching a wild animal. Breathe too quickly, too loudly, and it coyly disappears into the mists, trailing its song behind it. But if you’re too wary, too uncertain, too unlike yourself, it vanishes entirely. Approaching magic has to be done with, well, magic. Magic attracts magic. 1 + 1 = 3. I know all this because I have been there. The wet wild woods of the Olympic Peninsula enveloped me in its embrace, leaving me gasping…
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Odyssey
It’s a cruel blow to find out that you’ve been hiding something from yourself, perhaps for years, and that you have — intentionally, mind you — set up minefields, mazes and mirrors in order to avoid getting to the bottom of the whatever-it-is that eludes you. Not that any of this is a surprise, but I am just good enough at what I do, just skilled enough at self-discovery, to trick myself into thinking I have Done Good Work and as a result, veer off course from going deeper into what lies beneath. A lot of the anger I feel as a result — TRICKED! — is at myself. Self,…
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Arboretum
Fingers intertwined. Scent of winter-flowering trees. Bare expectant branches, contrasted against a muted backdrop. Verdant aliveness, sap running within, hearts beating in warm repose. Cloudburst-sated, yet wanting more, more, until waterfalls crested over mossy hillsides and the emerald turf drank a thousand years of delight. Things I love: perspective, the unexpected, golden afternoon light, lush wetness, the way colors pop on a muted overcast day. Seattle Arboretum view brought to you by serendipity, a romantic sensibility, and Hipstamatic, the second coolest app on my iPhone.
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Happenstance
The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. ~ Rumi I can’t help but smile inwardly every time I consider how perfect the universe is. In my world, anyway. I think back over years of experiences — some horrifically painful, some seemingly meaningless, some amazingly wonderful, and some that I can’t recall at all — and see the inexorable progression that has marched me right up to this moment. This moment, as I am writing and you are reading. The whole thing makes me laugh. Why did I…
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Raw
There are times when, despite sometimes thinking I know everything, I find myself floating in formless space, knowing nothing, not even the breath that fills the in-between spaces inside the yawning cavernous deep of my soul. Today — yesterday for the purists — was one of those days. Balancing normalcy with utter terror. Feeling — no, KNOWING — that despite anything to the contrary in the moment, everything would again change in a heartbeat, a breath, a day, a fluid flow into the yet-unknown we collectively label “the future.” And doing nothing more than the next thing. Is that all there is? In times past, when feeling this way, I’ve…
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Exponential
I am poised, yet again, at the edge of something magical. Unbearably exquisite. Scary as hell. It’s not as if I was hurtling uncontrollably towards a certainty, and yet … perhaps I am. Have the stars aligned to bring something to fruition now that was perhaps begun years ago while my attention was elsewhere? Is there a way to tell? All I can tell you is that on a regular basis, I am slipping through the veil into a beautiful new world beyond. Over and over and over, reaching new levels, new heights, feeling deliciously grateful each time for the new shared space, moving into that space seamlessly, joyfully. Over…
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PS Happy New Year
Once upon a time I rang in the new year in a bubble under the Space Needle, fireworks shooting overhead and onto my lips, warmed inside — despite the cold — by the promise of All That Could Be. It was absolutely lovely and absolutely perfect for the start of what I believe will be a wonderful year on so many levels. I am still in that magical place and hope to remain there a good long time. The end.
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Naked Tarot
I frequently work with a portion of the Tarot deck to seek clarity or perspective on situations. For years I rather pointedly ignored Tarot, thinking that using it was 1) weird and woo woo (yes I see the irony in that, thanks), and 2) too complicated for my wee brain to comprehend, because after all it would require Memorization and Effort, and maybe I was feeling a wee bit sorry for myself and also lazy. But whatever. A friend turned me onto the lazy-ass method of Tarot, which involves the Major Arcana, 22 cards instead of an entire deck. Oh, and also intuition. Which I can totally get behind. So.…