Raw

There are times when, despite sometimes thinking I know everything, I find myself floating in formless space, knowing nothing, not even the breath that fills the in-between spaces inside the yawning cavernous deep of my soul.

Today — yesterday for the purists — was one of those days. Balancing normalcy with utter terror. Feeling — no, KNOWING — that despite anything to the contrary in the moment, everything would again change in a heartbeat, a breath, a day, a fluid flow into the yet-unknown we collectively label “the future.” And doing nothing more than the next thing.

Is that all there is?

In times past, when feeling this way, I’ve counseled others to start with the smallest piece. Breathing. Feet reaching deeply into the warm Earth below us. Dancing to a primal beat. But tonight, tonight, I am too weary, too exposed, too uncertain to do anything but wish to be held.