Pride Goeth Before The Fall

Or something like that. Far be it from me, with an athiestic upbringing and a pagan belief system rooted in the practice of and belief in reincarnation and the oneness of everything, to quote accurately from anything remotely Biblical, but there you are. And here am I.

Here’s the deal: what if you were incredibly optimistic some of the time, seeing everything in its shiny newness, seeing the amazing and myriad possibilities that exists for each of us in any given moment, seeing your own magical perfection and ability to DO ANYTHING AT ANY TIME? That would be great, right?

So what if, some of the time, you saw nothing but black, the inside of a deep dark cave you know that you yourself caused you to be hurled into without provision or hope or light?

Okay, so what I experience is nothing at all like that, but then again it’s sort of close.

Anyway, that’s where I’ve been.

They say something something about balance schmalance  and I say wtf? What do you know about balance, baby?? I am living balance. From both ends.

So today I wasted an entire day lining up teeny weeny links in 4 teeny weeny posts while I steadfastedly ignored the heart out of the column that’s staring me in the face for Friday, the one that needs beaucoup editing and paring down by a third, the one that wrings the heart-juice right out of me to even think about. It’s my kid’s birthday this month and for the first time in his life I won’t be there to see him open his gift and to be the one to see his face when he wakes up knowing this is HIS DAY, his one day among all the days, and it is this kid I am writing about this month. Coincidence. No.

So if you see me silently weeping into my black cave (please send coffee), you’ll know what’s up.