Embracing

What is it they say? If you don’t like how you feel, change the way you think.

I’ve been in a dry desertland this week, far away from where and how I wanted to be. I have focused on the lack, the missing, of feeling out of sync with my surroundings. It felt wrong, this hard brown world. My eyes and heart are nourished so deeply by the soft greens and blues of my watery forested home. This dry bare place felt alien, foreign, spiky. My heart dried up and blew away with the tumbleweeds. I breathed dust. My brittle bones cracked and broke. I slid into an abyss that opened up into the underworld.

Resisting does not work.

I’ve decided to embrace my temporary surroundings instead. To be open to what is. To throw wide open my heart to this harsh land and gather in what it offers me. I am as big as the mountains. Wide as the bright sky. Wild as the cry of coyote. I have four days left. Something good will happen.