Destiny

Girlfriend. I never thought past the age of 17 that I would think of wearing this label as having won something amazing and awesome, but there you go. That’s how life works. Sometimes you come back to where you have been (only it’s way way better now). I am totally loving being a little bit high school. And yes, I have a boyfriend and he rocks.

We own one item jointly. Well, it’s technically mine — a small black hardcover Moleskine notebook, previously written-on pages ripped out to create an open space of possibility, written in with my burgundy and gold Mont Blanc rollerball pen — but we are creating the contents together. In it are many of the secrets of our couplehood awesomeness. Evidence of our co-created experience. Inspiration for further exploration. I am keeper of The Book, and several times a day I relish slipping my forefinger beneath the slim black elastic that binds the pages together, stretching it slightly to widen it, then allowing it to rest beneath the bottom cover while I press the book open to add the next entry. Gratifying.

What may be even more interesting about the life The Book is taking on are the themes that are slowly emerging from within its contents. Without revealing details of our secrets, I can tell you that some of our commonalities are so … unusual, rare, singular … that almost the only seeming explanation for the path that led us to meet is the D-word. Destiny. I can barely utter it without receiving an eyes-skyward glance, but it keeps coming back. Mocking. Inviting. Opening.

I’ll be honest about destiny. I believe in it and yet I don’t, not at all. I believe we each have a potential, a story, and it is up to us to find out what that is. Sometimes we are able to and sometimes we are not. Lives are lived and loves are loved, regardless of whether we find what our true story is, but if we do? When we do? That’s when the magic happens.

I want the magic. I know it is possible. And it is unfolding, within me and around me — I know it is. I can feel it. I want more. Is that my destiny?