My Brain On Crack

The Great Raw Experiment: Day Something Something

Let’s just say we’ve been on and off the Raw Wagon, shall we? And by “we” I mean me, and by “off the wagon” I mean WAY off, like Oreos, a tasty but absurd conglomeration of the associated evils of trans-fats and high-fructose corn syrup if I’ve ever heard of one, Oreos that haven’t crossed my threshold nor passed my lips for probably nigh unto five years, but that somehow needed to be eaten rather than all those sugar snap peas, radishes, and Rainier cherries I somehow passed by.

Oh, and here’s another tidbit of absurdity: despite feeling rather awesome eating only raw foods, I managed these past couple of weeks to regularly talk myself out of it and consume for instance the Thai lunch special from around the corner as well as the aptly-named Wonder Burrito from an El Salvadoran taco truck. Yes, I ordered food through a tiny window in the side of a truck, waited for my food while a fellow customer drew the curving outlines of my car on a sketch pad he later stashed in his backpack as he pedaled off on his bike, trying to hold upright his own Wonder Burrito safely stashed in its non-biodegradable styrofoam coffin pod, and then drove my food home to eat it in front of the flickering light of an episode of last season’s Mad Men.

I rock.

I also have no idea what is in a Wonder Burrito despite having consumed approximately 76% of one, but I may want another.

The thing is, my body now wants only raw food, and seems to be vociferously rejecting everything else. Which is, well, awkward at times, causing me to rapidly and unexpectedly excuse myself at inopportune times. You understand.

Next up: Becoming a Breatharian!