Doorway

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep!”
— Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi

I stand at the threshold of a doorway. It calls to me, this door into my future. If I stop looking I can see the starry brightness of the path just on the other side, the path that leads into the unfoldment of my destiny. If I cover my ears I can hear the earth sighing in breathless wonder. If I cease breathing for a moment I can feel my body expand in joy, each cell’s aliveness coursing through me and beckoning me into the brightness that covers my face.

The way ahead became clearer tonight. I have been two days in a fog that shrouded me in suffocating fears. Tonight’s moonrise dawns clear. I am not an island. Once through the doorway, I will see how there are hands waiting to take mine, to receive the gifts I hold, and to offer warmth in exchange. Once through the doorway I will see the way clear, my path, a piece of the larger destiny that awaits, and I will know where next to place my feet and in which direction.

I think that’s all we ever know.

I have been afraid because I haven’t remembered to use old patterns as a marker of my wholeness. I was afraid that I erred, afraid I was making poor choices, afraid my past pain would be repeated. But old things can be friends. Allies. I can gather them in. Use them to be whole. Let them give me strength.

I stand at the threshold of a doorway. Tonight I dance through.