• My Brain On Crack

    Letting The Voices Take Over

    It’s not often that we get to know, right at the moment it is happening, that the moment has come after which life will never be the same again. I live a dramatic on-the-surface life (juxtaposed with the under-the-surface what’s-she-going-to-do-next aspect, but we’ll leave that one under the surface for now, because this is my blog and I can show you what I want to, and hell, do you actually know what percentage of this (if any) is completely made up?) so I have those moments often.  The first one that I recall with absolute certainty happened in the back-room semi-office where I did my work and spied on my…

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  • My Brain On Crack,  Time Machine

    Wandering, Times Three

    At 24, on weekends (when I had them off) for a while, I took to walking through the too-large, too-empty colorless high-ceilinged rooms of my new house, walking slowly past the new furniture, wondering where my soul had gone. Time stretched into frightening nothingness and it seemed that by walking — slowly, endlessly walking — I could somehow fill that void. It’s easy to find ways to fill up the void.  Having a job that you take home nights and weekends, every night and every weekend.  Having children.  Then having more.  Letting life revolve around you, propelling you round and round, always in a different direction, any direction. There are…