Raindrops

It hasn’t rained since I arrived in San Miguel. This isn’t too unusual, as the rainy season doesn’t start until a bit later. It’s been hot and very dry. Last night I had the ceiling fan at top speed to feel cool enough to sleep.

The thunder started about an hour ago. I listened with only half an ear, not daring to hope that the storm would come close enough to rain where I am.

The windows here are padlocked closed (???) so my only source of fresh air is the front door. Fortunately, no one comes up to my door unless they’re delivering something I ordered, so I feel safe leaving it open.

When the raindrops started I flung open the door. Already the drops had moistened the red brick tiles of my terrace. I stepped out, barefoot, let the rain fall on my body, and wept.

This, this aliveness, is what I came here for. I have waited now for over a month to feel what I felt from these sensations: fat raindrops hitting my body, my shirt getting wet from rain, cool air, the trees and plants gratefully accepting this gift while the roosters continue to crow.

I accept this gift. It is what I needed to begin to melt away the armor of my fear, my grief, my anger. It is the beginning of what I need to lead me to unburden my heart from all that it has carried these past 9 years.

Thank you, thunder. From you I feel power. Thank you, rain, from you I feel life.

Together, with power and life, I shall heal my wounded heart.