Juxtapositioning

words are foreplay for the soul
October 22nd, 2008

Overloaded

I have this habit of taking on too much.  I have an idealistic mind—let’s call her Bertha, shall we?  Big Bertha—and it often tells me things that don’t end up being quite true.  Bertha tells me I can do anything, that I don’t need sleep (much), that I can get things done four times faster than I actually do them.  Bertha gets me in trouble some days.

But I can’t quite seem to let go of Bertha.  When she’s telling me things, it feels awesome.  Like I *can* do anything.  And not needing sleep, why, who needs sleep?  We can all do with less sleep; we’d get way more done that way.

Today I feel a little betrayed by Bertha.  I’m not even speaking to her just now, and whenever she tries to whisper something in my ear I just LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU for awhile and she goes away again.  But she always comes back.   That’s the thing about Bertha:  no discernment.  She doesn’t know when to stop.  She also has perhaps the worst memory ever.  She doesn’t remember, for instance, that last night I stayed up washing an entire dishwasher’s worth of dishes by hand because of the Sink Vesuvius* problem, and that afterward I cleaned the kitchen (I mean REALLY cleaned it) and also folded a load of laundry and wasted a LOT of time on Twitter and also edited a very long and involved web page on my new, yet-to-be-revealed website, and that I awoke at 5 freaking thirty this morning when Matthew got up (because HE went to bed at like 10 last night) and that my eyelids have been one with my Macbook screen All.Day, answering Skype stuff and editing next week’s column and editing more website stuff and doing work stuff and wasting more time with Twitter, and COMPLETELY FORGETTING A DEADLINE, SHIT.

Also Matthew and I went over and made two little videos that will be up on a very cool open source video project soon, and when they are I will do the linkage thing and talk about it etc, but it involved driving and getting gas and almost getting broadsided by a stupid and very impatient driver who was totally wrong and then had the balls to honk honk honk at ME, when it was clearly my go and they were stopped and waiting for another car anyway, and who the hell doesn’t even LOOK when they are getting in a teeny little roundabout?

Ad the deadline was extended a whole day!  So clearly there was no need to jump into writing the thing right away, let’s have a walk over to the store and get some organic popcorn, shall we?  It’s a nice night.

*Sink Vesuvius happened Sunday and we have been kitchen sinkless ever since, or at least as sinkless as you can be when the water takes like 3 hours to drain down and when you try to run the disposal (awesomely called a “garburetor” here, isn’t that a great word?) it causes yucky water to back up into the nicely-renovated granite-countered (not that I noticed) kitchen sink of the neighbor next door.  However, sometimes ignoring a problem does cause it to go away and I am happy to say that we called the plumber back tonight and told them Never Mind, Don’t Come, and By The Way It’s Okay That You Lost All My Information Yesterday And never Showed Up or Called As Promised, Because Now We Don’t Need You So There.