The waves crash around me, sucking me under. I cannot breathe. Water fills my eyes my ears my nose my mouth and I scream but there is no one there to hear, just the relentless surf, the pounding waves, taking me farther and farther from the safety of shore.
I long for a place to put my feet. A stone. A post. A step. My feet long for firm sand, but all I feel is ceaseless motion, spinning, vertigo. My heart runs red into a pool around me and my throat cries soundless gasping wails. Tears become rivers, oceans, becoming the endless waves that roll over me, crushing me, carrying me out into the current.
Dreams echo the unending uncertainty. There is no solace in sleep, no respite. Look inward, she says. Feel your heart beat. My heart bursts sixty times a minute, shaking me to my core, and I am sure that the sound echoes across vast mountains and galaxies.
Stand still. Wait. Listen.